How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

question : Reflections on divorce (please read details) Do you need advice tell you, a crisis reveals true character ?
Mother-in-law has suddenly five weeks after he died of cancer. My wife, sister and his father spent all the time in the hospital. They do not run, and not for a week or more to return to fois.Ma woman completely kept out of the loop and rely on his sister and father for emotional support. The only way I knew what happened when they were all said by e-mail and what happened. It froze completely on me and I could not be there in-law saw elle.Je only twice during the 12 days of his life. I had the chance to see the day, she slipped into the coma.Marié almost 2 decades. I came here for her, but she decided to leave me as a woman and man. Now the woman is leaving for a week holiday with the kids and stepfather. I do not think invité.Je not think she needs me, even if she thinks she does. I thought, wait a year before the separation. We have 2 children of primary school age. They say that the real fear the crisis caractère.Je that it unveiled a model in the future. If they can not rely on me in a crisis, so why should I should be good. I’m just babysitting and running errands and? When I wanted to give my support, I was denied apartment and screamed à.Même some of his own family could not understand how I felt cold. They were not even let me pay homage to the funeral insisté.Jehut to me: I was explicitly told not to come, there was not enough room for the hospital. For the same reason for the holiday – not enough room Best Answer: .
Liz

Response
Each has a different way of treating pain. Perhaps your wife, the shock of losing his mother left him by his parents blood away. I would not be considered an intentional release of you and offer you support. Incidentally, I wonder how this support was sincere – I mean, first, why do you say she wants me to be there for her, on the other hand, one wonders how long one must wait before his release. Sounds a bit fishy to me. This crisis has certainly proved true character of a person.

Question by KHS: Marriage advice needed!!! They are getting divorce please help?
My friend’s wife wants a divorce after 1 year of marriage. When they were going out there were no problem in their relationship; the problem started when they got married and he moved in with his wife and her mother. Many including me notice that her mother loves to get involve in their relationship. For example, when they have argument her mom will call his mom and tell her how bad her son is, and his wife will be next to her and agreeing everything her mother is saying.
I heard that they were arguing so much that they can’t even sleep in the same bed. From my point of view, I know that he does so much for her from dropping her off/picking her up from work because he is the only one with a car and know how to drive (they don’t even work in the same place and and have different schedule).
Now, she said that she is enough with all the BS, and she wants divorce. and after couple of days ,they agree to work things out, but he is so tired of starting everything all over again and start doing all the stuff he did before; he feels like things are still the same and nothing has changed and the same problem will surface again and again.

I personaly think that they need to stop arguing and come to compromise. They need to understand that relationship is giving up some of your right and give it to your partner and he/she need to do the same(thinking for one and another and not just yourself). They need to start to really take the marriage seriously in order to work things out.

Does anyone agree with me?
Please advise if you have more things to add

Thanks

Best answer:

Answer by woodswalker
yes, i agree with what you are saying BUT the main problem that i see in this marriage is the mother’s unlimited involvement in their life!!! that’s a huge problem and one that’s not easily fixed! they need to get away from her or set some big-time limits and stick to them! they may need some outside help!

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Question by ellacoolgirl: My uncle had an affair and now they are getting a divorce?
I’m a 15 year old girl. My uncle and aunt (I’m not related by blood but our family’s are so close we consider ourselves family) are getting a divorce my aunt only found out yesterday that my uncles been having an affair. They have two children both girls aged just 11 and 12. We are all in shock and my aunt is falling apart. We have the girls here at the moment and they are so confused and sad. I know I don’t really have a right to feel sad and confused because they are not my parents but I do. Has this happened to anyone? Any advice? How to help the girls?

Best answer:

Answer by IndyGirl
You do have the right to feel sad and confused when shocking things happen in your world, Honey.

Be supportive of your cousins. Just hug them. Let them talk if they want to; but they’re probably in shock and scared. Let them know YOU’LL always be there for them and love them.

This is a hard time for everyone, Sweetie. Best of luck to you all. xoxoxo

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Question by JAZ: I’d like advice from people whose parents divorced when they were children. Should I divorce or stay?
I am unhappily married with 3 children, 6, 7 & 13 yrs old. I stay in the marriage because my kids need me, and I don’t want to see my wife get our kids after a divorce and then neglect them. My wife and I work full time, but I do most when it comes to our home & kids. I give our children attention and affection they need that my wife won’t. Our 13 year old is from a past relationship, so I don’t have a legal right to custody. I’ve taken care of her since she was 4, but her biological father wouldn’t let me adopt her. I don’t want to break up the children, so I stay in a miserable marriage.

Another reason I stay – my parents divorced when I was young. My mom moved and I didn’t see or talk to her for several yrs. My dad became an alchoholic and ignored me, so I raised myself, but with many emotional scars that still remain. I fear that my children will be hurt more by a divorce, like me, than if I stay. I don’t want them to lose either parent, so I stay for them. What do I do now?

Best answer:

Answer by Liz Bow.
Yeah i would totally stay for the kids. IF you think that the kids need you then you should stay.

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Question by Brnskngyurl: How does someone divorce their spouse, when they only married them for their papers?
A friend of mine came here some years ago and married someone so they can get their papers. Now my friend wants to divorce their spouse because they never intended to be with this person for an extended period of time. However the spouse does not want to divorce and is willing to cause trouble and problems for other people. (To add more to the mix, there is a question of if a certain child belongs to my friend.) How do I help? What advice do I offer without getting my friend deported, but allowing them to get the divorce they want??

Best answer:

Answer by Adam B
This sounds fishy. When you marry a US citizen, you receive a conditional green card that’s good for two years. After two years, if the couple is still married, the condition is removed and the green card becomes permanent. As long as all of the relevant paperwork was filled out, there should be no problem filing for divorce, even if the other person doesn’t want one.

But your friend committed fraud on the US Government by coming here and marrying under false pretenses. He should absolutely be deported.

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Question by confused: NY divorce papers filed 3yrs ago, never finalized, do they expire? If anyone has any advice Id appreciate it.?
I was married for 10 years, we split up and like a year and a half later he filed for divorce, they lawers took forver and apparently the papers were ready about a year ago but my ex never picked them up for the final signature, or so I am told. Do these papers expire cause I’d like to file new paper on my own but i have no idea what steps to take first and I dont want things to get ugly because we remained friends. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you -

Best answer:

Answer by unsureofwhattodo
The first thing I would do is contact either her attorney or yours and ask them. If they won’t give you any answer then I suggest you contact the city county bldg the divorce was filed in and see if they can verify a date for you. They will then be able to tell you if it is final or not.
I know there is a two year limit where I live and I am certain there is where you are at.
First thing first is to call the county clerks office at the city county bldg and see if there was final divorce hearing as you are not certain. Be honest with them and as nice as you can Sugar and spice will get you the answers you need.
If they are not able to tell you I suggest you ask them where to go.
Best of luck to you. Just remember there are records of everything and kept for many years. so your answers is out there it is just finding the one person who is willing to help you out

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Question by abcde: Can a couple file for divorce on there own in Iowa if they agree on everything?
How hard is it file? Has anyone done it this way? Does anyone disagree doing it this way? We have been separated for awhile now.We don’t want each others things. No house to fight over. We have visitation worked out between ourselves. Child Support Recovery has already set the child support about. Does anyone know can I go to the court house or Library and see if they have a basis divorce to fill out. Any advice would be appreciated.

Best answer:

Answer by noreen
yep you can research it at the library(public/law)print out your own forms, submit them to the court get a hearing pay the fee and your done, the court house has the forms also. good luck

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Question by julie r: How can Al-Anon give advice about spouse, when they never meet these people, like divorce etc. ?
My husband says he loves me but, Al-Anon says to him she’s a dry drunk ( after 5 years ?) it well come back, better to divorce her now, than later. I don’t understand this kind of hurtful and family heartbreaking advice ?

Best answer:

Answer by breckfastattiffanys
I used to go to Al-Anon when I was married to an alcoholic and they drove me crazy with their opinions and advice. But if your husband is reading the actual literature from Al-Anon, it doesn’t give any kind of advice and the members shouldn’t be either. They’re supposed to be telling him that he can still love and be with you but to detach with love. This boils down to basically stop trying to do anything to change you or the situation surrounding you when you’re drinking and to take care of himself. They’ve been calling you a dry drunk if you’re actually an alcoholic that isn’t in the program of AA. If you’re not in AA, I suggest both of you go in for marriage counseling because the old hens in Al-Anon are giving your husband advice that not they shouldn’t be giving. And if your husband was truly working his program, he wouldn’t be talking to you about what goes on in the meetings because he’s breeching the confidentiality and anonymity aspects of the group so he’s just as bad as they are.

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Question by alyandbud: Why are people on this site so quick to advise people to head for divorce when they ask for advice?

Best answer:

Answer by erics love
umm because this goes both ways.. there are some things people know and some things people would like other comments about.. or are curious?? why are you doing the same thing?? you give advice but your also asking a question?

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Question by Suzette: What is your best advice to parents and kids of a divorce for what they should and should not do?
If you could have told your parents what they should have done and should not have done when you were a child of divorce what would it be? If you were to give your best advice to the kids about to go through it what would that be?

Best answer:

Answer by sheloves_dablues
Deal with your own marital shi1t. The kids didn’t create it, nor can they fix it. Divorce if you have to but leave the kids out of it.

Mom and dad aren’t doing this “to” you, they are doing it “for” the family.

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