How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

Question by WD05: MO & AR divorce laws, legal advice about spousal support, adultery, home…any lawyers?
Long story…complicated a bit! Please be kind, this is a very emotionally disturbing situation, only serious answers please.
I’ll try to sum it up…

Married in arkansas, resided together in Missouri.
Married almost 4 years, I was a single mother of 3 going back to college when we met, and i had my own home.
we married, I sold my home, we bought a $ 300,000+ home together.
I had to quit going to college and work full-time because his promise to pay my tuition after we married was not fulfilled.
I quit working all together 6 months later at his request because he works away from home and wanted me home when he was not working.
June 2007, he moved out and got an apartment in arkansas, putting much of the blame on his children, stating they do not care for me.
Has spent much time here in our home since then, with many unkept promises of moving back.
He took a job in Asia 1 year ago and while claims to be working 3 months on and 3 WEEKS off, I just found out that he has not been working all that time and in fact has an asian girlfriend with which he is residing, believed to be in Thailand. yet he will not admit this.
He has since let the mortgage get behind, his vehicle was even repossessed this week.
Although I have had suspicions of all of this, I confronted him manytimes and it was always denied.
I lost my part-time job this week because of emotional upset and inability to work. and have discussed many times about geting a full-time job and each time he simply refuses and says there’s no need.
the emotional upset is because i had not spoken tohim in 7 days, got suspicious, found internet profiles(facebook, myspace) with many asian female friends, learned he’s learning the language, etc. I called the vessel he was supposed to beon and he had left 1 week earlier. learned he had been in bangkok, had lasik eye surgery, then was supposed to fly home on feb. 11th, move home permanently, catch up the mortgage, then on the 11th i got an email from him stating he wasn’t coming home. 5 days went by with no word from him, he claimed he had been in jail for hitting the doctor while at his lasik check-up. Now today, 5 more days later, he confesses its over!

I have no money, a home that will eventually go into foreclosure, an unfinished degree with student loans to pay, 3 children to support, no means to go to the doctor for some type of help with my upset and nervous situation.
His job is a contract position, no taxes withheld, all checks deposited into an Asian bank account, possibley in Singapore. His income averages $ 150,000 per year. He claims he doesnt have a passport anymore either.
I have suspected, but he will not admit to anything and I’m afraid he may be seeking citizenship in an Asian country and am unsure as to whether or not this will make me responsible for all of our shared debt.
What are my chances of getting spousal support, at least temporarily?
Should I go ahead and file for divorce now? or only tryto seek spousal support and let him show that he is the guilty and abandoning party by waiting for him to file?

***PLEASE***before any snide and hurtful remarks are made, please be aware that the only thing I am guilty for is loving someone who happens to be quite manipulative, hurtful, selfish, quite convincing, and someone whom I have always been able to trust and who I thought was my best friend as well. I am not a stupid person, I am very trusting and have always been an honest person. I am however, obviously a terrible judge of character. This situation has completely turned my world upside down, so please only serious answers from those who have serious educated answers.
I do plan to get an attorney, but have to have finances first and am trying to get a sense of what I may be up against.

.

Best answer:

Answer by lorisam7879
WAY, way, way too long.

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Family Law and Divorce Attorney Kevin Gibbs speaks about the factors that determine spousal support. The Law Office of Kevin B. Gibbs handles all Family Law including Divorce, Child Custody and Su. . .

Long Island Family Law Attorney Elliot Samuelson talks about spousal maintenance after a divorce. The Law Offices of Samuelson Hause and Samuelson handles all family law matters including equitable. . .

Are spousal maintenance and alimony the same thing in Minnesota?

Basically, yes.   Spousal maintenance, formerly called alimony, is the financial support that one spouse is ordered to pay to another spouse in a dissolution of marriage proceeding.

Is there a set amount that I must pay or can receive in spousal maintenance?

Unlike child support, there are no statutory guidelines the Court is required to follow in setting spousal maintenance. The amount and duration of a spousal maintenance award is dependent upon the length of the marriage, the disparity in earnings and earning capacity, and the respective monthly living expenses or needs of the parties.

Can I get or will I have to pay permanent maintenance?  When will it end?

Permanent spousal maintenance may be awarded in long term marriages where there is a great disparity in incomes between the parties, while temporary or rehabilitative spousal maintenance may be awarded in shorter marriages where the spouse receiving the maintenance has an ability to increase his or her earnings within a projected period of time.

Absent specific agreement of the parties or order of the Court, permanent spousal maintenance will only terminate upon the death or remarriage of the spouse receiving the financial support. Parties can agree on the amount and duration of spousal maintenance or can even waive their right to receive financial support if none is needed or if they are compensated through some other means.

Absent such a waiver, spousal maintenance awards can be reviewed by the Court at a later date to determine if the award should be modified, extended, or terminated. To modify a spousal maintenance award, the party requesting a modification must demonstrate that either party has suffered a substantial change in financial circumstances which makes the existing award unreasonable or unfair.

If the parties waive their rights to receive financial support from each other, specific language may also be included to dispossess the court of any authority to award spousal maintenance in the future. Such language can also be incorporated into an agreement to prevent a court from examining existing spousal maintenance awards in the future. These types of waivers are specific to the issue of spousal maintenance and cannot be used by the parties to waive obligations with respect to the financial support of children or relative to the authority that the Court exercises over those children.

A court will consider a list of different factors in determining whether an award of spousal maintenance is reasonable. Due to the lack of any defined rules with respect to such awards, it is important for both individuals requesting spousal maintenance, as well as those who are asked to pay spousal support, to consult with an experienced family law attorney to protect their interests.

Vincent Martin and Joyce Cundy

Minnesota Lawyers

www. cundyandmartin. com

A new California law permitting divorce the spouse receives income from child support to seek an increase in alimony to maturity of the child. This law, (Family Code § 4326), which is set for 1 January 2011, finds that the loss of income support paid for a child from the parent when the child becomes ineligible for assistance (by example, reaches the age of 18 or graduates from high school) to be a "changed circumstances" sufficiently important to justify an application for modification of spousal support.

This new law represents a departure from previous rulings. In a 1999 case, the marriage of King Lautsbaugh (1999) 72 Cal App 1131 4 º, 85 Cal RPTR. 2d 688, a Court of Appeal of California overturned the decision to grant a woman a $ 350 increase in your monthly payments. She has supported this increase is justified by the fact that his daughter had graduated from high school and was no longer eligible for child support.

To reverse the trial court, the Court of Appeals reasoned that the loss of payments at the end to reach her daughter was expected by both parties during the initial divorce proceedings and therefore an expected change. The Court went on to say that a change in previously represented, can not justify an increase in spousal support. In the end, the court held that when the daughter graduated, the obligations of his father, the child support terminated.

While the Appeals Court's reasoning makes sense, the new law effectively cancels Lautsbaugh and apparently extends the definition of Change "important" to understand the events referred to above. Furthermore, the provision interacts both types of support, which historically have been separate and should remain so.

Although this law at present does not go so far as to take the family courts in California, for now consider modifying the support of a spouse at any time for a change in financial situation occurs, should ease the burden of test. If the parent is required to prove that their costs, not the child, may justify a change of support, remains to be seen. Whatever the outcome, the Family Code § 4326 will likely be a source of much debate in the coming years, especially if it continues in effect after January 2011.