How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

Question by : what should i do if i think my parents are getting a divorce?
my mom’s parents got a divorce and my uncle got a divorce i’m really scared but i stay strong because of my little brother! i love him and i try not to think about it. i wanna confront them but i am too scared i’d talk to my grandma but i’m kinda scared again i really don’t wanna go through the pain that my mom had to going to my grandpa’s then going back home with her mom thinking bout’ it scares me anyone have any advice?

Best answer:

Answer by Trouble
Talk to your grandma mom about your feelings. If you mom wants to talk to you be there for her, other then that just be as good as you can not to add stress onto an already stressful situation.

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Question by mimi72: I need advice about if I should divorce him? I think he was using me?
About 4 month ago my husband kick me out of his home with all my clothes( I said his home because before marriage he made me sigh a Pre-Nup agreement and I did)
We got married 3 years ago
The main reason why we are apart was MONEY, he wanted me to pay 1/2 of everything, I used to pay 1/2 of his Mortgage , utilities plus expensas.
But the big problem was when he asked me to pay 1/2 of the mensually payment of his Sport car ( his car is not on my name, he bought it before marriage) also he wanted me to help with the payments of his Credit Cards ( he owns about $ 13,000 and again I never used those cards and there not on my name) cause of that he decided we should be apart for a while or forever…
Right now I’m living at my parents home
He always make more money than I do but anyway he wanted me to pay 1/2 ! He did not care if I have some money left for me or nothing. He is very bossy and rude
I’m still loving him but he was using me! I’m very sad and upset
Now I’m not sure if he married me because he loved me or just to have somebody to help pay his bills each month.
Actually his home, Sport car, boat belong to him becuase he bought all that before marriage and anyway is in the Pre- Nuptial Agreement.
And one day he told me _ you must help me with my mortgage paymets because if you need to rent you must pay , right?
He told me if I want 1/2 of his home I should pay him $ 45,000 because he gave for down payment $ 90,000
While I was living with him we bought a lot together ex: Furniture, appliances, barbecue grill, etc
Now I’m here without NOTHING, only with my car, my clothes and little of money in my bank.
But I’m still working hard and I’m going to start saving money only for me!!
The other day I was driving by his home and 2 weekends was more than 11.00 pm and he was not home and yesterday ( friday) was a green car parking in his driveway , mmm I’m assume he is seeing another person, while I’m here very sad …
To Frank C.:
I have a Master Degree in Spanish Literature.
Next year ( September 2007) I’m going to teach In a great School , but last year when I was living with him only I got part time job . I could not find a full time…
He owns a bussiness, he got money but he does not want to share a $ 1,00
I love to help buying food , paying gas and electric, phones, utilities. But I do not like to pay 1/2 of the Mortgage because the house never is going to be mine, NEVER .Why I have to pay his mortgage??? Plus his toys, plus his Credits cards???? CRAZY?
He does not buy nothing for me, he never asked me if I have money for gasoline or if I need something, NEVER!

Best answer:

Answer by C C
Sounds like he was using you..

Be happy you two split and just think now your money can go to your bills and car in your name.

Talk to a lawyer about prenup..there maybe things you might be entitled while you were married.

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Question by VIVO: Advice- should i tell my date about my divorce on the first meeting?
I really like this guy from work. I guess the feeling is mutual. He has asked for dinner in 2 days. The issue is that I am divorced and I feel that he knows this . He must have heard it from some other collegues . But he behaves as if he does not know or he does not care. I am not sure if I should tell him if it comes up. Why would he behave like that if he knows it.

Best answer:

Answer by bobby B69
Divorce is a personal thing, and many people dont want to mention it as it may hurt you. He probably does not want you to think that he has heard all these things about you, and made judgments on you.

My advice is to not bring it up unless HE specifically talks about your divorce. There is an old rule that you do NOT talk about ex’s on a first date, and trust me a divorce is like the ultimate ex.

This relationship is about you and him. I know that the divorce is important to YOU, but it really should not have any bearing on your current relationship.

Concentrate on getting to know HIM better, and ask about his past and future dreams. First dates are meant to be fun, and a chance to get to know each other a little better. I agree that your divorce is something he should know about, but not at this stage in the relationship. He does not want to feel like you are still thinking about your ex and that you have not got over the divorce. concentrate on him and make sure you have fun.

First dates are rarely times to bring up heavy things like divorce. Keep the conversation ligth and fun. You dont want to scare him away, by sounding as if you have not got over your ex.

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Question by u wanted 2 know: Under what circumstances should you get a divorce?
Under what circumstances should you get a divorce besides cheating, I know God says your not supposed to unless the husband/wife commits adultery. So whats you view, Im so afraid that God is going to deal with me if I go against his will…Advice please

Best answer:

Answer by Pookie
Abuse: emotionally, physical, mental
I would consider a divorce if my spouse became involved in criminal activity, or a physical addition to gambling or a susbtance (I would stay as long as I could, but if I had children, or if there was no attempt to recovery, I would be out of there)

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Question by emt_and_nurse2be: How can I (or should I ) help Ex emotionally get through the divorce- Could use some mens advice on this too.?
I had been married for 18 years. After years of feeling that my needs were not met, I told my soon to be ex that one of us was moving out. He decided to go and leave me and the kids in the house. Over the last month I feel like we have both been through the ringer. We worked in anger (not good) we tried to be civil (ok but felt phony) and we tried to be friends (left with hugs etc.) and to me it felt that that was just aggravating the situation because he saw it as a source of hope.He is very hurt and doesn’t want the divorce. I have become indifferent over the last year and know that divorce is the only option I want. Should I try to help him and ease his pain by talking to him or being there for him or is that only causing more damage to him? Should I let him stand on his own 2 feet and figure out his own path in this world like I had to do ? How can I ease this horrible emotional roller coaster we are on ?What is the best way to go about all this ?

Best answer:

Answer by bruce d
Find him a little girlfriend. Frequent, meaningless sex helps dull the pain.

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Question by Pete F: For Christians: How do I know if I should stay married or get a divorce?
Is it a sin to divorce? My wife won’t talk about money problems or anything else for that matter. I know I’m not the perfect husband but I want her to communicate her feelings with me. Any advice and tips would be very helpful. Thank you.

Best answer:

Answer by Atom74, the sexiest SFCU
marriage counseling may be a good start, at least try and save your marriage, well i mean rationally

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Question by JAZ: I’d like advice from people whose parents divorced when they were children. Should I divorce or stay?
I am unhappily married with 3 children, 6, 7 & 13 yrs old. I stay in the marriage because my kids need me, and I don’t want to see my wife get our kids after a divorce and then neglect them. My wife and I work full time, but I do most when it comes to our home & kids. I give our children attention and affection they need that my wife won’t. Our 13 year old is from a past relationship, so I don’t have a legal right to custody. I’ve taken care of her since she was 4, but her biological father wouldn’t let me adopt her. I don’t want to break up the children, so I stay in a miserable marriage.

Another reason I stay – my parents divorced when I was young. My mom moved and I didn’t see or talk to her for several yrs. My dad became an alchoholic and ignored me, so I raised myself, but with many emotional scars that still remain. I fear that my children will be hurt more by a divorce, like me, than if I stay. I don’t want them to lose either parent, so I stay for them. What do I do now?

Best answer:

Answer by Liz Bow.
Yeah i would totally stay for the kids. IF you think that the kids need you then you should stay.

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Question by Talianna: Should I start dating now or wait until my divorce is finalized?
I have been separated from my husband for over a year now and I am ready to date….the problem is I am still legally married. The divorce will not be finalized any time soon so I kinda feel stuck. I also know that being married is not a turn on for guys. lol…..hopefully you can help!

Any advice is appreciated.

Best answer:

Answer by SammyD
Start dating!!!! You ARE seperated and are doing NOTHING wrong! My husband and I were dating for over a year while his divorce finalized. He was upfront with me about the situation and I wasn’t uncomfortable at all….Just be honest and open….Have fun! You deserve to be happy!

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kingzbelleza question : I need advice used my husband to forgive me and tells me he is a divorce what to do is ?
I am married to my first love 2 years ago, I went with him shortly after because of his military career. A week later we had a very lively debate, I do not even remember what it was, he kicked me out that night saying it was his house and spent the night in a parking lot. I was very angry. I was new to the area with no friends no family car. I went in the morning and it is as if nothing had happened. Weekend after weekend, he came with his military friends, and left me home saying it was not his fault, he had friends and I did not. He left for a month over seas and I met a man who became my friend and later, I cheated on my husband. I felt terrible, so I ended up throwing before he came home and told him about it and hope he forgives me. It was getting worse, the months are even more dramatic when I discovered I was pregnant a few weeks. He promised that our lives would change for the better. He never did. My son is now 3 months and it has not even seen. It is about to deploy to Kuwait and had no desire to go home to watch the birth. We are still married, but he was only on my face that I was his biggest mistake. He will return in December and said he had no desire to meet his son and plans to divorce. Other days, he promises change and a fresh start, send flowers, calls me every day and then he changed his mind. I love this man, but I hate his actions, I’m going crazy with his uncertainty about the future, I hate that my son is not at fault in all this yet, it will be most affected, any suggestions? One of you experienced something similar, I thank you in advance and please no stupid comments! Thank you all for giving me your opinion, it was very helpful, thank you very much. Best Answer:
Reply from

lindainthesun You must
your life do for you son. Remember that you threw the house. That was very bad on his part. Yes, it was wrong that you cheated on him, but I can understand why you did it.

Question by tooinvolved1: What advice should I give my friend who’s considering reconciling with her exhusband?
She doesn’t believe divorce is right as a Christian or healthy for her kids. But she and her husband fought a lot and divorced anyway. It’s been a couple years and she’s thinking about asking him to reconcile. She asked for my advice…Pray, of course. Set realistic expectations. Don’t sweat the small stuff… What else?

Best answer:

Answer by “try it”
The best advise you can give is NONE!!

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