How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

Question by SHRUTI K: i want legal advice for a male friend of mine who is married and seeking divorce.?
His wife blackmails him that she will commit sucide n will get him hanged or will register a police case that he abuses her mentally. Being male he also do not have any grounds over which he can have divorce apart from that he is mentally tortured. But indian court listens to female first. please help its urgent??
he is an indian citizen and has got married as per indian laws. it was a love marriage!

Best answer:

Answer by Lela A
should make out police reports on her activities to protect himself and document everything that she does for the courts wihen the divorce happens in court

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Question by ashlan m: I am seeking a divorce, do I need to file it through the same state we married through?
We’re from Florida, but we were married in Echols County, Georgia. Now, I am seeking to file for a divorce and I am wondering if I have to go back to Georgia to go through the process. Is there even a process? Or can I go down to the court house here in St. Augustine, Florida and file the papers. I’m trying to do this without a lawyer, we really have not acquired property/joint ownership of anything. I need some advice, thank you!

Best answer:

Answer by BabeHart
.Typically you’d file in whatever state you current reside. It does not have to be the state you were married in. Do some research online or go to the courthouse and ask about filing yourselves. I know it can be done, I do not know how to go about it.

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Question by bluekittymomma: Seeking legal advice or a point in the right direction of a good free legal aide service for divorce.?
I live in South Carolina my husband lives in Texas he had me served with divorce papers and a temporary restraining order and the court date is this week. We have three small children age six and under that are living with him and have been for the past 3 months the 7 months prior to that they were living with just me. Unfortunately I can not bring my children to live with me where I am staying right now so I had planned on giving my husband physical custody of the boys as long as I can have visitations. The problem is I can not afford to get to texas for the court date and I also fear for my safety if I did somehow manage to get the money for the trip. I would like to handle this situation via a conference call or some other acceptable manner where I would not have to leave the state I am currently residing in. The first court clerk I spoke with had said it would be no problem I just had to ask permission from the judge but now that I have called back to finalize everything and ask that of the judge this new clerk tells me there is no such thing and there is no possible way for me to speak with the judge. I am at a loss as to what I should do next. I can not afford an attorney and would not know if I should have a south carolina attorney or one from texas to represent me. Please I do not want to lose the ability to see my children and I am so afraid that is what will happen if I can’t show up or handle this some other way and showing up physically is not a viable option. Any advice you can give me would be very much appreciated and I thank you in advance for your time in reading this.

Best answer:

Answer by Mike
Contact the clerk of the court and request an adjournment until you can obtain legal counsel.

Just tell them that.

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Question by seriously2sweet4u: Seeking advice about divorce, custody and other things…?
It looks as though I’ll be facing a divorce soon. We have a three and a half month old son who my husband has only spent three days with (he’s in the military). He takes no interest in our son, never asks about it or talks of missing him. I try to encourage a relationship through pictures and news of his latest developments. My husband has serious financial problems (did before we were married), joined the Navy against my wishes (forged my name on the enlistment papers), has a terrible temper and anger issues (he’s even admitted he needs anger management classes), is extremely irresponsible and has ZERO experience with children let alone infants.

My main concern is how my son will be treated and cared for under the supervision of my husband. It’s important for them to share a relationship. My husband is such a poor example in so many ways and is not doing anythingto work on any of his problems.
I myself am nowhere near perfect. We’re both at fault for this marriage ending. I never should have married him in the first place but I had very low self-esteem and being a co-dependent drawn to him. I’m in counseling now and am working hard to be the best person and mother that I can be.

I truly give credit to those families who are military families, they make so many sacrifices. The lifestyle is just not for me, I’m not cut out for it. I also would like something different for my son, as far as his visitation with his father. My husband has informed me that the only way the custody of our son will be uncontested is if he gets my son three months of the year every year. I do not understand why he wants him, he shows no interest or concern for him.
Even when I begged my husband to come here (we’ve been living a part since Sept. of 2007 when he kicked me out ) all he did was sleep, complain and play video games. I just don’t understand. If I were him and knew I wouldn’t see my son much I’d never want to put him down and spend every moment I could with him. If I asked for help with our newborn he’d complain about it. I was in pain and recovering from a rough delivery and a third degree episiotomy but I did not complain, my son needed me, so I was there.

My husband is a stranger to my son and my son is very needy and suffers from GERD which can make him very fussy and cause him pain. I do not know how my husband will be able to handle this, with his anger and his lack of experience.
My husband claims he just wants a legal separation, so I can keep benefits. That’s a manipulation of the system and not offered anymore in most states anyways. I think it’d be best just to pursue the full outright divorce.

I do not have a full college education and am enrolled in a program at a local college in nursing. I live now with my parents, for almost nothing. I’m trying my best to build a life for my son and I, a future so that I may give him the best life possible.

I am facing the hardest challenge as a mother, what is truly in the best interest of my son? What do I do as far as visitation? What’s the next step? I’m so very scared and any kind of advice or anything is really welcome. Thank you in advance.
Here my son is only watched by family members or close friends. With my husband he’d be in daycare all the time. The enviornment is unstable and my husband would often be shipped out, if he’s attached to a carrier, which is currently up in the air since he’s having difficulty with his security clearance.

My husband’s family is also something that concerns me. They have very different views on life and religion than we do. His last step-father raped his two older sisters and physically abused him and his mother. His latest step-father my husband hasn’t even met. My husband’s father is a manic depressive and is not medicated.

To be totally honest, it’s hard to know what is what I want and what is best. I fear mostly that my husband will try to turn my son into him. One of the main reasons my husband married me is because I’m part asian and he has an obsession with all things and people asain.
Currently my husband is living in VA at a Naval base there finishing up some school and than supposedly is assigned to the USS George Bush. I don’t know really what the truth is though since he lies about EVERYTHING, but I honestly think it’s because he lies to himself and believes his own lies.

I am currently living in Michigan.
***FYI as far as the enlistment papers go it wasn’t permission for him to join it was papers which were part of his enlistment stating that I know and recognize the terms in which we will live and situations we will face and that I agree to them as well.
Concerning the custody my husband has CLEARLY stated that he wants and is sure he will get (should it go to court) three consecutive months of the year with our son. He claims he loves him and wants to have that visitation. Yet when I tell him we have a doctor’s appointment coming up (my son has GERD and has had several health issues resulting in his treatment by a pediatric gastroenterologist) and even the same day when I’ve said oh, we’re just leaving the doctor’s he’ll go on about himself and not ask once how the visit went.

Best answer:

Answer by Rearose
If you never really see your husband, your husbad never see’s his own kid, he has anger issues, he forged your name, has no care for his child, and lives a lot of his life in Virginia! I do think you are right about having a divorce. If your husband is not inerested in your son, then I am sure he wont want to have interest about custody. If he wants visitation rights, you can probably request that he has a supervised visitation with the judge. You are right, it is VERY important for them to share a relationship, I mean come on! He is the father, he helped make him and stuff. I think you should take action in a divorce, he has only seen his son 3 times, your son is three and a half months, 3 days out of 3 and half months! And your husband doesnt even want ot know how well the baby is doing?! I know you want the best for your baby, and a divorce most likely will be hard, but I think a divorce would be good. I am sure your mom will be there to support you, your dad, friends and other relatives. Good Luck!!!! Congratulations on your son!

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question : the search for a divorce. Need advice and opinions of the people who do not know me and read my story. Help me?
Legally married my best friend (Marriage Partnership) and now in love with a younger man and the man I married because we were friends and treated each other very much. I delayed marriage two years in hopes that something happened but did nothing. We became closer as friends. We tried to sexually intimate, but it was never something we could do. When I say we tried. We have tried everything. He was happy with porn and I’m busy with life, when we were both very good. Time passed, I became interested in the Internet and chat. Many friends of both sexes. While playing cards one night, I met this young man, the mean and error mouth was but it was something about him. Me and my friends decided to flirt a little with him, I had a friend who at the time I tried someone was playing. I have learned to speak with him and flirted a little. Try it the interest with my girlfriend. Well, I was addicted to it next to my friends and it was just me and him talk for hours. Every day, we talked and talked. I took a holiday on the net because I felt too close to him and it scared me. But when I came back, he was there was, we exchanged # ‘s and then talked some more. Maybe 6 months have passed, we decided to meet in person. When I collected my car in the panic hit a parked and I wanted to go. He had never seen, I lied about my looks, my family situation, what I did was here? I gave him my life friends of my career was a mess. He convinced me. We met. At a meeting a few minutes we knew we were in love. What a waste, I thought. And now? Time passed, I told him everything slowly. He wanted me to stay. I was shocked! He came with me to live for a while. My husband lives with me, but as I said, we are friends and nothing more. We lived under one roof. I wanted to leave my husband. I wanted a life with him, but he does not want me. I was told that was all he could give me. It was not big on commitment, so that worked with him. It broke my heart every time. And I lived by his words. Live one day at a time when I ask about our future, it was a struggle. I thought. Maybe he did it because I do not first require him. For about 4 years. I pushed to be together. He pushed with excuses why I did not hit his family, his friends, why each time he in the city, he was with my family, my friends, my place was. They do not, even if I was in his city, we stayed away from his place and his friends and family. It makes me very badly and I tried to reason, but thought I loved him, I have supported financially and emotionally whole. I’ll take it. Last year I took a freak incident. I needed to rest months. He was not there for me. Would cut off my calls and said he was sleeping and / or tired. I discovered he saw another girl. Slept with her and set it as his girlfriend, his family and friends. I was ready to let go. I had to do with things because of my emotional freak incident and had given up. I cried for weeks. Meanwhile, I went to his area for a funeral with my family. He said he would and met with me. I was so desperate for his touch and the love that I slept with him while he was with another girl. I also have to be judged? I was married. I turned all my focus on me. Everything. I took care of me and nothing and nobody. After I got home, he decided to break with the girl. I did not know what to do. I had been going on in my head. We slowly started to melt. We are together again. Now he was about 6 years we have been together. I have not met his friends and family. He referred me to my husband to leave. I want to leave. I know I can, but I have many fears. The husband is sweet, lovable. We are not sexually intimate, nor ever before. I mean, we have tried that route. Did not work. He is someone who is a close friend. I love and care for him. But not the kind of love you are romantic for someone. Like a brother. My lover. I love him very much but I have so many questions. I’m very much. But it’s the juicy part of my history. Please tell me what you think. Good or bad. Please do not just mean Best Answer.

Reply by Margot It
is impossible to read in a very long section.

Question by John: Seeking advice on Divorce completion?
I got a divorce. It went to trial. The judgement has been issued. her lawyer is not following through on the judges request that she draw up the divorce decree to be signed into law. My lawyer is saying he will not do anything about it until he is paid current and I owe him about 5K that I don’t have…at least until I can yank money out of retirement funds that are frozen until the divorce is complete.

I should mention that I already have paid him 12K+ through this process including the 5K retainer fee… He keeps telling me that he wont do anything until paid up current

What are my options at this point? A dismissal date has now been put in place by the judge.

Best answer:

Answer by Tom V
You could try hiring a new lawyer to complete the divorce for you. This won’t relieve you of your responsibility to pay your current lawyer the money you owe him. But it will get the divorce moving again.

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Question by ayquechula: Any advice on seeking the best divorce lawyer?
My husband of 8 years cheated on me. We have three kids and recently bought a house. He has stated the marriage is over even though I was willing to save it. Any tips on seeking out a good divorce lawyer so that I end up on top?

Best answer:

Answer by ~~Eat Fish~~
No bull. The guy with the full page ad in the yellow pages.

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Question by Ciddy: Desperate child seeking divorce advice?
My parents have been seperated for 2 months now, but have not filed for divorce yet. Of course I’m having to go through an emotional roller coaster, and no one’s there to lisen or care. I’m living with my mom and she’s been dating this guy. I really don’t care if she dates, but I’ve told her that I’d appreciate it if she’d let me get uset to the idea of divorce before seriously dating. She’ll agree, but then turn around and do innapropriate things with him in front of me. Like today I walked into the kitchen and saw their faces barely an inch away from each other and he had his hand on her ass. When I confront her she’ll get into an argument with me; saying “oh, you were imagining things.” or “you know we’re just friends.” Another thing is that he introduced me as his step daughter at a party, and she didn’t even care. But I introduced him as my moms boyfriend and she went completely apesh!t on me, saying that I was embarassing her. She’ll side with him on anything and it’s like I don’t even matter anymore.It’s almost as if she’s reverting back to her 20′s and doesn’t want to bother with her child. Also, she will never answer her cellphone for me, even when I was home with the stomach flu. However, it’s a life or death situation if she doesn’t answer for him.

In a nutshell, I confront her on everything and she’ll defend him to the goddamn death. What can/should I do?
They’ve been together 20 years, and I don’t speak to my father

Best answer:

Answer by silent
Wow that’s a tough one. How long have your parents been together? Well first off your mom isn’t divorced, so why is she seeing another man anyways. My mom and her husband just went through the same thing except it was vice versa. Your mother is only thinking about herself. Which is completely wrong. She needs to put you first and your other siblings as well if you have any. Sit down and talk with your mom, if she doesn’t listen or start putting you first explain that you think it would be better if you went and stayed with your dad. If thats what you think is best.

20 years is a long time. So things won’t heal easily. Do you have grandparents or any other family members you could stay with for the time being. Still explain to your mother that you think it would be best if you didn’t stay with her until she starts putting YOU first.

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Question by kitttyinct.@sbcglobal.net: Need advice on seeking what was agreed to on divorce papers?
I divorced my husband in 2001. He didn’t want the divorce. He bragged on his financial statement beccause at the time he was making big money as a painter, but has always only worked sporadically. When my (pro-bono) lawyer saw this, she mentioned “alimony” and he hit the cieling. We agreed that he would pay some credit cared bills I had in lieu of alimony. This never happened. I didn’t act on this because I was busy in therapy,, trying to change from an emotionally abused timid “mouse” Now we’ve both been in therapy and have a friendly relationship (he helps me out alot, I’m disabled, he does heavy work for me, paints and cleans my apartment, etc.) But he never intended to pay those bills, I can’t on my disability income, he doesn’t make that kind of money now, and I don’t know what to do. I can’t even afford a lawyer should I choose to go after him for reneging on a court order, plus, I am dependent on him for this help. Any advice?

Best answer:

Answer by blue eyes
This was something that was put on paper from court.. It is court ordered that he pay u alimony.. It shouldnt cost much taking him back.. Call the lawyer u had with the divorce and ask what it will take to do this.. Ur exhusband will be held in contempt of court.. saying they can put him in jail for not paying.. I understand he is helping, but also to he owes u money.

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My husband cheated eight years. We have three children and recently bought a house. He said the marriage is over, although he was willing to save him. Any suggestions on finding a good divorce lawyer, so they end up on top?