How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

Question by heartbroken_dude: Marriage and Divorce Ppl I need your advice?
I have been trying to get back with my ex girlfriend. She left me 8months ago. We were together for 6yrs. We have been in contact with each other since she left through IM. She knows I want her back but she is skeptical because she don’t want to come back to the same situation she left.. I realize what I did wrong and I changed my behavior went to a relationship expert and I’ve been reading about what women need from their partner in a relationship. What else can I do without being pushy to show her I am serious about my intentions with her. I don’t want her back just to waste her time I have seriously changed for the better.

Best answer:

Answer by Dayvid
Keep doing what you’re doing and give it some time. People want to see ongoing change that YOU want. Not the type of change that one might do for the short term in order to simply aquire what they want.

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Question by mimi72: I need advice about if I should divorce him? I think he was using me?
About 4 month ago my husband kick me out of his home with all my clothes( I said his home because before marriage he made me sigh a Pre-Nup agreement and I did)
We got married 3 years ago
The main reason why we are apart was MONEY, he wanted me to pay 1/2 of everything, I used to pay 1/2 of his Mortgage , utilities plus expensas.
But the big problem was when he asked me to pay 1/2 of the mensually payment of his Sport car ( his car is not on my name, he bought it before marriage) also he wanted me to help with the payments of his Credit Cards ( he owns about $ 13,000 and again I never used those cards and there not on my name) cause of that he decided we should be apart for a while or forever…
Right now I’m living at my parents home
He always make more money than I do but anyway he wanted me to pay 1/2 ! He did not care if I have some money left for me or nothing. He is very bossy and rude
I’m still loving him but he was using me! I’m very sad and upset
Now I’m not sure if he married me because he loved me or just to have somebody to help pay his bills each month.
Actually his home, Sport car, boat belong to him becuase he bought all that before marriage and anyway is in the Pre- Nuptial Agreement.
And one day he told me _ you must help me with my mortgage paymets because if you need to rent you must pay , right?
He told me if I want 1/2 of his home I should pay him $ 45,000 because he gave for down payment $ 90,000
While I was living with him we bought a lot together ex: Furniture, appliances, barbecue grill, etc
Now I’m here without NOTHING, only with my car, my clothes and little of money in my bank.
But I’m still working hard and I’m going to start saving money only for me!!
The other day I was driving by his home and 2 weekends was more than 11.00 pm and he was not home and yesterday ( friday) was a green car parking in his driveway , mmm I’m assume he is seeing another person, while I’m here very sad …
To Frank C.:
I have a Master Degree in Spanish Literature.
Next year ( September 2007) I’m going to teach In a great School , but last year when I was living with him only I got part time job . I could not find a full time…
He owns a bussiness, he got money but he does not want to share a $ 1,00
I love to help buying food , paying gas and electric, phones, utilities. But I do not like to pay 1/2 of the Mortgage because the house never is going to be mine, NEVER .Why I have to pay his mortgage??? Plus his toys, plus his Credits cards???? CRAZY?
He does not buy nothing for me, he never asked me if I have money for gasoline or if I need something, NEVER!

Best answer:

Answer by C C
Sounds like he was using you..

Be happy you two split and just think now your money can go to your bills and car in your name.

Talk to a lawyer about prenup..there maybe things you might be entitled while you were married.

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Question by imraan: Please help me I need advice on moving on after a divorce and was married for 16 years?
I need help guys my wife has just been granted a divorce after 16 years of marriage .trouble started 3 years ago I blame her Mother she moved in with us even took over my space in the bedroom .WE have been granted joint custody of my 14 year old daughter .i am so bitter towards these two women my ex only did this for her mother .My ex also found herself a new boyfriend about 4 months ago I never knew about this I only found out in my daughters essay that she wrote .Things became hectic when the new boyfriend started using racial insults against my Daughter .Initially my daughter wanted to stay with me but decided rather to stay with her Mom which is fine .I guess i just cant move on now I am bitter hurt and feel deceived .Please help it will be appreciated Guys this is serious no jokers Please

Best answer:

Answer by fizzgal1973
Hello,I am so sorry to hear about this. If your daughter wants to stay with you , this could be possiable. how old is she? if she is 12 in most states you can file for custody and the judge would listen to her needs. and as for this boyfriend your ex has does the mother know about the racial crap? taht is rediculious.
The problem is people don;t think about who they get with shouldn’t matter but it does if you have kids. I understand what your going through I have a son in Florida me and ex get along but he had a girlfriend and believe me I asked questions you have that right and to find out anything about that person who is haring that house with your daughter. I commend you for taking this step I would definitly get to the botoom of this. good luck to you:)

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Question by justwanna: Just divorced and now I need advice about restoring my credit?
I made a stupid mistake and trusted my ex to refi the home and pay off debt for me. Not in writing just verbal(dumb). He didnt do it and now I have two judgements against me and garnishments on the way. Is there anything I can do without filing bankruptcy?

Best answer:

Answer by carlos
Maybe a consolidation loan is an option. http://simpleloansconsolidations.com

Try your bank first, and don’t be surprised if they ask a co-signer.

Good luck !

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Question by vanity: this tuesday me and my husband will file a divorce,i need your last advice?
im asianwomen married to korean guy 5 years ago
when i get married that time i just broke up with my two years relationship boyfriend
and honestly my life was financially unstable
even if the man is 15 years older than me i decided to get married and get out of my poor country
at first my mind was set to have a simple life and make family we dont have boyfriend girlfriend relationship with my husband we met three days then decided to get married
after i had a baby boy
my life was changed
when my son was one year old it seems i dont like my life anymore we always got a fight
and i cant live my life in the old traditional way of life in the new country
we are totally diffrent
and i just try to live with him for the sake of my son
but as time pass i dont really want to live a life in control the problem with me and my husband is first we dont have bonding we dont talk alot also because of language barrier and the things that i want most are the things that he hates mo

Best answer:

Answer by redpeach_mi
you don’t need advice, you need a divorce. you should have never gotten married in the first place. but that’s in the past now. just try to make it right. if that means getting divorced, then do it.

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Question by whitelightin26: I need advice on nh rules on divorce?

Best answer:

Answer by beanodom
Most anywhere anything that was bought while you were together is to be split 50/50. What was yours before is still yours and what was hers before is still hers. Anything that was left in a will (i cant think of the right word) is yours/hers. Kids usually go to the mom with the dad getting every other weekend and holiday visitation.

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Question by Belva: Need Advice: Husband brought up option of Divorce twice in 6 months?
In last 6 months my husband has brought up the fact he wants divorce twice! Of course, it’s during arguments. Am I being stupid & naive for giving it a 3rd go round with him or should I be packing my bags and getting on with my life? I love him, but I won’t be reduced to threats and he inevitabley tells me he really wants to work it out. After two diferrent occasions of it being an option for him, I am wondering if he stays because he’s scared of being alone etc etc.

HELP!!
Thanks everybody (well most of you) and a big thanks to you Paul for being so human!!! I agree and feel the same way

Best answer:

Answer by Ryde On
you aren’t getting the job done and you have been put on notice..

Shape up , make the necessary changes or hit the road.

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Question by Anonymous Poet: Really need advice on decision of getting a divorce.?
Me and husband got married even after I found out he cheated. He did not cheat physically, but still cheated on me. I was dumb enough to stay with him and marry him still. Since then he has told lies…small ones and broken small/big promises to me. I have caught him twice lying and trying to hide stuff. I dont trust him…I dont trust him at all and I feel I am holding him back by not wanting him to do anything or go anywhere. I also feel like I am holding myself back and hurting myself by staying with him because I worry myself to death that he is cheating on me. It makes me feel insecure and unstable and those two things I definitely am not, but thats how it makes me feel and I dont want to live that way. I want a divorce, but I am afraid. I have a 5 yr old from an old marriage…that one was easy to divorce. I have a 13 month old from this husband a son due the first week of June. I will be a single mom of 3 kiddos and that scares me. I would not have a problem dating, but I dont even want to do that now. Yet I dont want to be lonely. I dont know how it will be to be a single mom, other than hard b/c I have three kids. Is it really worth leaving and if I do, how do I not let him talk me out of leaving?
Fuck you smitty…You dont know shit of how I raise my kids and I swear if you lived by me…you regret ever answering this question you idiot.

Best answer:

Answer by Smitty
Your 3 kids need to be the focus of your life for the next 18 years.
Do NOT even think about dating. Duh.
Your “I don’t want to be lonely” is what got YOU and YOUR 3 KIDS into this mess.
If you’re not capable of 100% self-less concern for your kids, you’re not fit to be MOM!

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Question by Haley Barker: american woman and american child living in europe. want to divorce and take son home. need advice.?
Ok we have been in Europe for almost 3 yrs now and I had my son here. He is 2 yrs old. My husband cheats, lies, controls, mentally and emotionally abuses me, and is not a good father. I want to leave. I cant live like this. He never keeps a steady job and is a horrible person. Why should my son and I be bound to him for 16 yrs here bc the Hague convention prevents me from taking my son back home to the united states?? I am a good mother and i can give my son and I a much better life there. My husband threatens to not buy me food and to leave for days at a time if I confront him about the cheating. I am a prisoner and no one understands. I need help to get out but all the laws are in HIS favour! I dont know what to do! I have to type fast he is downstairs. I cant take him out of the country without my husbands permission and he wont permit it without him going to. So what if we all go on vacation and then i say we arent returning to europe? myson and i are american citizens and neither of us are european citizens NOR are we residents of any european county. my husband is though. if we all 3 go and then i stay with my son will my husband be able to take him back to europe? we are citizens,my son and i. please help me. i cant be a prisoner here much longer and my son is growing up with a horrible man for role model. i hope someone understands. Any ADVICE is welcomed. Thank you.
American embassies tend to NOT work in your favor in these situations.

I emailed several lawyers who specify in family law and international law and none have answered. That was 5 days ago.

And Im really sorry but idk who mildred is.

Thank you all soooo much!

I am wondering now if we ALL go back on vacation together and then I file for divorce while we are all in the US if I could start the custody fight and then it would be on him to stay there to fight for custody. Idk. If anyone knows advice will help. Im so desperate but not enough to kidnap my son and go to prison. I need to find a loophole somewhere. There has to be a way.

Thank you so much for your wishes xo

Best answer:

Answer by Queen of Beer
Consult an american attorney. I do believe though you can’t just take your son to america or that will be considered kidnapping. You will probably need a very good lawyer.

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Question by Cindy F: I need some serious advice on dismissing a divorce while in the 30 day cooling-off period. Can I do this?
Okay so my husband and i both signed the papers. We have 2 small children and we tried to work it out for them. My daughter who is 3 isn’t taking the joint custody so well. It is breaking her. She screams and cries so painfully everytime she has to leave me. Its not like pitching a fit its like she’s hurting so bad. She isn’t happy with her daddy at all. My son who is 8mnths came home to me dirty. So how do i go about dismissing this so i can try and get full custody of my little ones so i know they are being taken care off and to save my daughter the emotional abuse?
He says he doesn’t care that its hurting them. And what process do i have to go through to file the custody thing?

Best answer:

Answer by ranger_co_1_75
You don’t need a dismissal, you need an amended custody order, or if you don’t have a custody order, you need one.

Talk with your husband and explain to him the problems with the kids. I can’t think of anyone that wants to hurt their children.

The worst thing that can happen in a divorce is when one parent uses the children to hurt the ex spouse.

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