How to file for divorce – Divorce advice for women

Question by Maryellen Kocher: Divorce & Loss Of Entire Family – Help? Advice on how to cope?
My husband left me for another woman after 20 years of marriage. He had me served with divorce papers. I was completely stunned. I had no idea there was a promblem of this magnitude. During this, my daughter and her fiance (whom were both living with us) bought their own place and moved out. My son, his fiance and their babygirl (whom were also living with us) rented their own place and moved out as well. I am completely alone without anyone for the first time in my life. I have been disabled for about 10 years. Because of that, I am unable to work or drive. I haven’t been out of the house in over a month. I don’t have any friends and my only family in the area are my parents who are driving me crazy with all of this. I recieve a small disability check each month. It’s not enough to pay the bills, but he hasn’t paid any since he left. Everything is getting shut off and taken away. The house is so empty that it now echos. My husband hardly talks to me at all. He wont answer or return my calls or texts. When he does stop by he’s very cruel and speaks in a nasty way. The only reason he even comes to the house at all is to take more things out of it. I don’t know how to deal or cope with any of this. It’s made even worse because I am bipolar. I also suffer from manic depression, schitzophrenia, OCD, ADHD and panic and anxiety disorders. My husband was my “safe’ person…the only person who could make me better and stop my attacks and episodes. I got sick with one and called him. He didn’t answer, of course, but I left several messages begging him to at least help me because I was sick. He wouldn’t even do that. I am soon going to lose my home because of the bills, but I don’t make enough to afford my own place. I have no idea what to do. I love him and want to work this out, but he wont even try or budge just a little bit. In the span of less than one month I lost my entire family. The holidays are right around the corner as well as my son’s birthday, my husband’s birthday and our anniversary. This makes me hurt and feel even worse. All I do is cry. I am at a loss. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Best answer:

Answer by Spd
Find a Lawyer and a Doctor.

Talk to the Lawyer about settling up all your remaining assets to prepare you to move

Talk to the doctor about finding a hospital/ward or a living home where you can go to live in a stable environment. Seek help, yes, but find it from a professional like a doctor or psychiatrist. If your family is out of the picture, this is the best alternative, especially if you don’t think you can stand your parents’ help. E-mail them, or write to your family once you’ve settled down in your new environment.

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Question by Scott P: So I found a file on the family computer named “Divorce Without Children.” Any advice?
I got on the family computer today to use Microsoft Word to type out an assignment. My laptop unfortunately doesn’t have Word and this program you submit assignments through for this class only accepts Word. After I opened it up, a notice popped up on the side saying it had recovered two documents, one of which was “Divorce Without Children.” Now, I’m not a child, I’m 21 living at home for the moment to save more money for study abroad. My little brother is 18 and in his senior year of high school.

I plan on studying abroad for the 2011-2012 academic year in Japan (this would span Sept. 2011 to July 2012 due to Japan’s academic calendar). My little brother is presumably going to college. Perhaps I should brace myself for things to be very different when I get back, right?

Best answer:

Answer by Poppet
I would keep this in the back of your head but don’t assume too much. Continue with life as you have planned but be open for changes. (both positive and negative)

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Question by Empress ~of~Roam: Can I get some advice on a family dispute over land and divorce agreements from 23 years ago?
I’ll give this to you in 3rd person form so as not to lead anyone in any direction: In 1983 a couple w/ 3 grown sons was divorced. The man had a small farm that had been in his family for several generations. To keep things more civil the woman didn’t try to take the farm on the VERBAL agreement that it was given to the sons & the man agreed. They both remarried and now the man is sick, maybe dying. He says he is going to sell the farm and pay his debts and planned funeral expenses so he can die debt free and 2nd wife won’t have to spend the insurance on him. If any money is left over he will divide it among the 3 sons. The sons say it is not his to sell, but theirs due to agreement of 23 years ago. Legally, the deed has the man’s name on it. Should the proceeds be split w/1st wife because of the agreement (everything else was divided equally at the time of the divorce). Should all money go to sons? Should 2nd wife get any of it? The man wants to be fair and just, but WHO’S FARM IS IT
I am not either wife. One of the sons is my friend and he asked my opinion on the matter. He is concerned that 2nd wife is out to take the farm and any or all proceeds from it. She had already spent all of the man’s money on new cars, cruises to the Bahamas and fancy clothes. Now she is pushing him to sell the farm to pay all the debts she has accumulated b4 he dies from this illness and she is left having to pay the bills which are rightfully hers. He is a simple man with down-to earth tastes. I have known them all for 15 years. He would have never bought a new Cadillac (he drives a pickup) or taken a cruise. I fear my friend is right in that 2nd wife is draining his dad and now trying to take the last thing he has- the farm.

Best answer:

Answer by Vicki B
You didn’t do a good job at disguising your bias by the way. Your avatar reveals you are a woman, “To keep things more civil” and the rest of the discourse reveals you are the 1st wife.

It’s his farm, it was a mistake to trust he would honor his verbal agreement from 23 years ago. He conveniently forgot about it.

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Question by Krissy.: Family problems, divorce maybe. I need someones advice and help. I am so upset.?
I am going to try to avoid typing a long page, so i’ll try to make this as short as i can.
My parents have been fighting a lot for the past 7 months or so, over several things. They have been married for over 15 years, and have my brother and I. I have never, ever given any thought to them getting a divorce. I am 13.
But tonight, I have found out that my dad told my mom that he doesn’t want her around anymore. Like, he wants her to leave. So i don’t know really what all is going on, but my mother told me that they might get a divorce. I am not supposed to know about any of it, but i could see my mom really needed someone to talk to. I am pretty sure they will talk to my brother (age,10) and i tomorrow evening, and let them know what the plan is and everything.

I am devastated, and I am crying as I type this. I don’t have any idea what to do. I am scared, not knowing where my life will take me in the next year or so. Please, someone let me know everything is going to be okay. What is going to happen? What do i need to do? I am so upset. Please, someone help me.

Best answer:

Answer by Jack
Sorry to hear that :’(

Many of my friends parents were also divorced at a young age. You could consider it lucky that you know and love both your parents. Many other kids aren’t as lucky, they never even met their mothers or fathers.

Take it from me, someone who’se had more than his fair share of deaths/divorces/other turmoil in the family. You will be alright. Both your parents still love you, and your relationship will not change with either of them regardless of how they feel about each other.

Just remember: Time heals all wounds. It’s okay to feel sad and upset, those are normal emotions. If you get to the point where you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or others though you should seek professional help. This, again, is 100% normal. Most people who go through this sort of thing get a psychologist.

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Question by I.Beatriz .: Family Law Advice! What are his rights even if he doesn’t have a lawyer for Divorce, child custody case?
A guy friend is getting a divorce. The ex asked him to come to her lawyer office so he can sign the papers. He asked her for a copy to be view on his own time to make sure what it says. She says he have no rights to get a copy and he have to sign and read the papers in front of her and her lawyer. Also have told him that she ready made a decision of being the primary parent to their daughter. He have no saying in it. Decision are made and he have no rights? Can anyone advice me what to tell him. He’s freaking out. He doesn’t have a lawyer…you guys know attorneys are expensive. The ex also said that if he wants to change anything in the paper and hires a lawyer he’s gonna have to pay her and his lawyer? Any advice?

Best answer:

Answer by J.J.
Thats a lie!

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Question by Katie d.: I want to “divorce” myself from my dysfunctional, abusive, boundary-less family. Advice? Please read.?
I’m an adult who comes from an abusive family. I haven’t seen then in four years but I talk to my parents over the phone once a week and they have my email address. I have spoken to my brother maybe 3 times in the four years.

I think it isn’t healthy to have them in my life anymore. They have been and still are emotionally and physically abusive and they are all morbidly obese and financially irresponsible to the point of bankruptcy (but with little to show for it). My brother is a violent, bi-polar drug addict who weighs 500 pounds and we have never gotten along. They all have rage issues and serious issues with boundaries. They have contacted my friends and acquaintances in the past with the intention of threatening them, embarrassing me, and (according to them) either “letting them know that I do have a family”.

I realize that in the past that comes back to me since I told them about the people in my life in the first place, and I don’t plan to do that again. I’m seeing someone – nothing serious – and my mother insists on calling during whenever she KNOWS (because I stupidly told her) we’re together. Why? Because (according to her) she “doesn’t want him to think I’m crazy because not having a family isn’t normal and I do have people”.

I can’t choose my family. I’ve stayed in limited contact with them but don’t even feel I should do that anymore. I don’t love them or care about them. I’m afraid of them, embarrassed of them and if I had children, the very thought of them being around those people sends chills to my bones.

What can I do to “divorce” myself from them? I’ve been in therapy for two years and am thinking of bringing this up with my therapist. I would like to know your advice or if you have been there.

I don’t think I’m a bad person or “crazy” because I don’t want to have these abusive people in my life. But I’m afraid of confronting them because I know exactly what they’ll do – contact everyone I know (even though we live 500+ miles away). Short of a restraining order, what do I do? I just want them out of my life and they continue to do things to “show me” just because it gives them some power and control over me and my life.

I don’t want to always have the threat of them invading my life looming over me. Please help.
Proud, I don’t visit them. I haven’t visited them in years.

The fact that there is a distance doesn’t keep them from contacting people in my life just for the sake of threatening them or “showing me” that they can, as some sort of sick “punishment” for not doing what they say or including them in my life. It’s all about control with them. They want to control my life. I do not like them.

Best answer:

Answer by nick
Hi, i think you should be old enough to make your own decision. not even your parents or your family can tell you what to do with your life, this is your life, not theirs. it’s really a shame to see your family treat you this way. i can say this myself because my father do the same to me. i always feel like I’m his servant than his kids. my life is hell and he’s the devil. i wish this would never happen to anyone. you have to remember something, no matter what happen they will always be your family. it doesn’t matter how much they abuse you or how much you want to separate from them, they will always be your family. sometimes don’t it just sucks we don’t get to choose ? but in your case, i think it’s only best if you leave them, it will be hard but it’s for the best. personally i don’t think your therapist could do anything about it beside from feeding you pills and giving you bull-crap advice. you should sort this out yourself. your mother is wrong, this is not family. you should feel welcome and warm when you are with your family. go on and live your life the best you can, I’m sure they can take care of their self, they’re old enough to take care of whatever it is in their life and since they don’t care for the well-being of you, you should not worry about them at all. remember this, everything takes time and what i write here is only my opinion. whatever you decide to do is really up to you. good luck.

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question because I know need free legal advice, family law, divorce issues, Illinois ?
I have problems with exwife, we are already divorcé.Où I a judge or a lawyer of the family business, a question I’m in Illinois Best answer?.
Reply from

onwheels64 Happiness
lawyers are never free

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Question by Alison L: Need family law legal advice please regarding house title in event of divorce or death?
My mother put down a huge downpayment for my husband and I to buy a home. The house is only in my and my husband’s names, so there is no proof that she gave us that money. We put in writing (a typed up 3 page document) that if we were to divorce or I die, that my mother becomes the owner of the house since she put 6 figures down on it. My husband signed it, and a girl at the bank notarized it-the last, third page of it anyway. If I were to die or we get divorced, will those papers that we created and signed hold up in court, or would we need a lawyer to draw up more official papers? Or is there something even better that we could do that I have not listed??

thank you for any advice!!

Best answer:

Answer by Doug
At the very least, you should have a lawyer review the document you signed to see if it will hold up under the circumstances that concern you.

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Question by bbyduckie: LEGAL family advice- divorce/house?
My mom and dad have separated for more than 10 years and the house is in both their names.
Dad has moved out since their separation.
My mom(57) and myself (21) still live at the home but my dad now wants to sell.
Mom = doesnt work due to personal reasons.
Sister (24) moved out 4 years ago.

We are not financially well off and cannot afford to move or buy the other half of the house.
Is there anyway of saving the house for my mom and i’s sake.

Best answer:

Answer by Quaker O
She is not working for personal reasons??? Does that mean something is wrong with her, or she does not want to work. I think your father needs to have her permission to sell the house.

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Christine doesn’t know how to handle family traditions, holidays and events when the grandparents are all divorced.
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